Roles

Jessica Beck

Eng 1022.55

Project #2 continued...

Every woman has certain roles that she is expected to fill. Some women choose to accept their roles, some women choose to rebel against them, and yet some choose to change their roles. Women need to be happy in their roles and must do what it takes in order to find such happiness. Feminism has been a huge force in helping women change their roles. Because of the feminist movement, women can now go to elite colleges and pursue their careers. Isn't it great? Well, that depends, once again, on the woman. For a long time women's colleges educated their student's on how to be "proper" women (good cooks, good cleaners, good wives, good mothers…). In essence being educated during this time was an aid to marrying well and thus had nothing to do with pursuing a career. Has this changed? Not as much as one would think. "In 2000, Harvard Business School professor Myra Hart surveyed the women of the classes of 1981, 1986, and 1991 and found that only 38 percent of female Harvard MBAs were working full time" (America's Stay-at-Home Feminists). The reasons that so many of the women weren't working is because they either got married, or had a child, or both. This isn't a problem for me. I think its great that such women were dedicated to educating themselves. I can also easily relate to the idea of not wanting to leave the children. Either way as long as woman truly wants and chooses her role- there shouldn't be controversy surrounding it. Of course there often is the issue of the "second-shift", this refers to all of the household work that even working women are (often) expected to do. For some women, the pressures of the "second-shift" and working are too much; in many cases these women opt to leave the workforce. This is a problem. In fact, " According to Phyllis Moen and Patricia Roehling's Career Mystique, 'When couples marry, the amount of time that a woman spends doing housework increases by approximately 17 percent, while a man's decreases by 33 percent'" (America's Stay-at-home Feminists). It's hard, the workforce has changed so much to accommodate women, but household roles haven't changed alongside. Often times, women are torn by between working and staying at home as a result. The article America's Stay-at-home Feminists by Linda Hirshman lays out some pretty controversial solutions to such problems stating, " You can either find a spouse with less social power than you or find one with an ideological commitment to gender equality. Taking the easier path first, marry down". As I first read this article I thought the end was a joke- I was wrong. The article analyses various trend in women leaving the workforce. Ultimately Hirshman chooses to take a stand against stay-at-home mothers/wives. She believes that it is a waste for women to go to school and then leave the workforce; she goes as far as to say it is a downward spiral for society. Part of her reasoning is that women cannot achieve their full potential by staying at home. I contend that Hirshman needs to look at what life is all about. I know when I'm on my death bed I am not going to regret business deals that I didn't close, I am going to regret not having more time with my family. Also, intellectually it is not a waste of time for women to leave the workforce; there are plenty of ways to satisfy a women's thirst for intellectual challenges without working. For example, I am a stay at home mother and I also am a full-time student. Either way the main flaw with Hirshman's arguments is that she fails to realize that women should have the choice, just because staying at home isn't for her doesn't mean it's not for other women. The ultimate reality, the reality that I feminists have been fighting for, is that women should be given the opportunity to be happy in their various roles- whatever roles those may be.

Works Cited:

Hirshman, Linda. " America's Stay-at-Home Feminists." Alternet, 24 November 2005. Web. 7 Feb 2010.

http://www.alternet.org/story/28621/?page=1

View From the Childless Side

Written By: Kari Duddeck

There is a big different between the two other members of my group and myself. They are both mothers and I am not. My thoughts on mothers staying home with their children or going back to work are going to be slightly different than theirs. I don't have the slightest idea what I would decide to do if I were placed in the situation of having to make the decision to stay home with my child or go back to my career. I like to think that I would be okay with placing my child in daycare and returning to my career. I feel that after I have spent a lot of my hard earned money on an education I should put that education to use and pursue my career. I think that there are a lot of mothers out there who have their first child and then they make the decision to place that child in daycare and they continue with their career. For some mothers a second child changes everything. If a mother decides to have a second child all of a sudden daycare fees have doubled along with expenses for everything from diapers to food. A lot of families need to rethink their decision and the role that daycare has in their life. Some families may decide that the mother should stay home with the children in order to save on the daycare costs. Another family may also decide that with another mouth to feed the extra income the mother will bring in is worth the added daycare costs. This just reiterates the idea that there is no universal right or wrong answer. Each individual family is different and has to think about the pros and cons of the mother working or not and make the decision for themselves. It is hard to think about what I would do if I were in this situation. I am not sure what my family situation will be. Will I have 1 child or will I have 6 children? There are so many different factors to take into consideration. I don't think it is possible to make a decision until the time comes.

Daycares to sitters and guilt of leaving your child. Do I or don't I?

Kathy Rossi

Project#2 Online assignment

Brian Lewis 1022 English Comp II

Our children are the loves of our lives. Why wouldn't we be concerned about them? Leaving them the first day back to work is a hard task. Whether it is at a licensed daycare, sitter, or relative. Moms want to be there to help them grow in a wonderful way. Whether it be to help them with their shoes or be the one that reads them their first book of nursery stories such as Peter Piper or the Old woman in the Shoe. Moms can have a bit of a guilt complex from dropping them off and hearing them cry as you walk out the door of the daycare. Or maybe you come back early from work and hear your child call the care provider "mom." I think an important factor is if you need to have your child in a daycare, find one that you feel a close connection with the provider. The fact that I owned and operated a daycare for 8 children and then eventually moved up to 55 children give me confidence in sharing my opinion. I once had a mom come every day for two weeks and sit in with the group of children and I. She was able to gain confidence in me and the way I handled the situations with the children. Her children would join in our activities and she could sit back and see the love that was given to each child. By the third week this mother left her children with me and had no crying or hard good byes as she walked out the door to work. Of course not all parents can afford to do such as she did for two weeks, but it really did make a difference in her trusting me and she feeling good about the care her children would be getting. There was an article on CNN that spoke of daycare situations and the advice that was given was to find a place you feel comfortable leaving your children. Yes, there may be a day that doesn't fit well with what you see at the daycare but, if all the other days you drop your children off and they are happy and excited to be there then you have found a great program and kind of an extended family.

ross0031 Kathy

www.cnn.com/2007/.../family/07/23/par...child.care/index.html

Quizzes

Jessica Beck

English 1022.55

Project #2

Here are links to a couple of quizzes on whether "you" should be a stay at home mom or go back to work. These are just entertainment quizzes of course. I did them with curiosity as to what questions would be asked. Obviously these quizzes shouldn't be the determining factor as far as such a big decision goes. However, I would like to note how lacking, in my opinion, the question were. In fact, the only thing that the quizzes took into account was the mother's wellbeing and nothing of the child's. It's a little disheartening for me to think that some people make this choice (when it is a choice) without considering what's best for the child.

http://www.parents.com/parents/quiz.jsp?quizId=/templatedata/ab/quiz/data/StayHomeOrBackToWork_03172004.xml

http://just-for-mom.quiz.kaboose.com/58-should-you-stay-at-home-or-go-back-to-work

I want to note that these sources are in non way credible or reliable.

Childcare expensive in Britain.

Kathy Rossi

Project #2 Online Blog Assignment

Brian Lewis 1022 English Comp II

What the UK thinks about childcare.


In the UK a survey stated that most daycare costs have risen, but they find it much higher in the area of London and the South-east. The parents need more help financially to give their children a good start in life and to help them work towards a better education. The parents in Britain are not able to afford the costs, so only about 13% use daycare service all the time. The article on CNN stated that British parents experience the highest childcare costs in Europe.

posted by ross0031 Kathy

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/uk-childcare-bills-europes-highes...

I think the answer to the question is up to the family and what they are willing to give up for the price of being home with the children. A report on CNN states that over time a family gives us about 1 million dollars to stay home with the young family. They consider all the company benefits and retirement funds etc. I as a mother feel my children are priceless. There are many ways to make money from home. We just need to be creative.

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/RaiseKids/CostOfBeingAStay...

To Stay Home or Not to Stay Home? That is the Question?

Written By: Kari Duddeck

Deciding to become a stay at home mom or joining the workforce is a difficult decision to make. It requires a lot of thought and it will alter the lives of the entire family. There is a lot to take into consideration when deciding to become a stay at home mom. The finances are the biggest thing that needs to be thought about. Can the family live without your salary? Is it worth working just to turn around and spend your money on daycare costs? Another important thing to consider is how you feel about another person caring for your child. Are you comfortable with another person taking part in raising your child? It is also important to think about the emotional impact on the potential stay at home mother. Going from the work force to staying at home can toy with emotions. If leaving the work force is going to have a detrimental impact on your emotions it may be better to continue working. Finally it is also important to consider the impact your decision will have on the child. Staying home with your child definitely has its benefits. Children that stay home with their parent often have a better relationship with that parent and children are able to learn more because they have the one on one attention. Going to daycare can also have its benefits. Children are introduced in the social aspects that they need to know and be comfortable with especially once they reach school age and they are introduced to new experiences that they may not be introduced to at home. At the end of the day the choice to become a stay at home mom or a working mom is ultimately up to each individual family. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to making this choice.

Personal Stake

Jessica Beck

English 1022.55

Project #2 continued...

As a mother I know what pressures are out there. I understand every viewpoint but I have yet to commit to one.

When I found out I was pregnant, I started out saying that I would be back to work when my son was six months old, then it turned to one year old, now he'll be two in March. I love the idea of working because I am a person who felt great climbing the ladders and making money. However, from the moment I saw my son I couldn't imagine ever being separated from him. My current plan is to finish my Associates degree then get a job. I hope to find a good company who has an early childhood daycare on campus because I still dread the day that I won't get to see him.

It's tough, our family could use the money; I want the money for him. Maybe I'm just being selfish, I don't know. I've heard mothers say that its not right to put kids in childcare, that people need to "raise" their own children; but I've seen how beneficial the right childcare can be. I know how important social interaction is for children. I just cannot decide. That is my personal stake in the argument of women at work or at home with the kids.

Does the Mother and the home environment provide the child with the best chance for growth?

Jessica Beck

English 1022.55

Project #2 Continued...

There are more things to consider than just money and roles. I think most mothers can agree, that the choices they make in regards to how they raise their children are based on the belief that they are doing the right thing. Most mothers want their children to grow up with an education, with social skills, with self-esteem, and with knowledge of how loved they are (among other things). Many women are naturally great teachers; such women love to teach their kids the fundamental basics of knowledge along with the various complexities of the world. Some women do not, it is just not in their nature to teach. Some women are nurturers, others have a hard time relating to children and showing them affection. In addition, some women are social beings while others prefer to keep to themselves. There is no good or bad woman in these terms, there are simply different women. However it could be argued that the woman who are nurturing, affectionate, teachers are those that are suited best for a role as a stay at home mother; while those that do not fit those traits might help their children by enrolling them in childcare. The point is to help the child become the best person they can be.

In addition to recognizing personality traits of mothers it is important to note that children may respond differently to various situations. Some children do not have the same personality that their parents have; they might thrive with a mixture of home among other environments in their daily routines. For example, I have a friend who has two little girls. Her little girls are very active and love to explore; they are extroverted in their personalities. Their mother, on the other hand, is an introverted person and prefers a slower pace. She is a stay at home mother, but she was able to step back enough to realize that her children might enjoy and thrive upon entering a childcare facility with numerous daily activities. She was right, her little girls have blossomed and made significant social, educational, and personal growth. It's important to look at how the individual child can best evolve.

Money is a huge factor

Jessica Beck

English 1022.55

Project #2 continued

Money is a major aspect. Money is one part of why it may be hard for a mother to decide if she will be a stay at home mother or join the workforce in order to provide economically for her children. Money can potentially have the power to open up possibilities; possibilities that lead to easier lives. In this case money is what prevents many mothers who would love to stay at home with their children from doing so; money is also what prevents some mothers from returning to the workforce because of high childcare costs. According to the NACCRRA, the average cost of childcare per four-year-old child in the United States is between $4,056 and $11,678 yearly. For struggling families who need work more than others, childcare is not even an option. Of course there's the flip side for each of those unpleasant scenarios; there are cases where money enables mothers to go back to work despite high day care costs; and also, where money enables a mother to stay at home with her child as long as she likes. Of course in some of these instances the choice isn't hard-because there isn't one. Money has a lot of power when it comes to motherhood in the United States.

Works Cited

National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies. "Child Care in America;2009 State Facts Sheet." NACCRRA-The National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies, 10 April 2009. Web. 31 Jan 2010.

http://www.naccrra.org/docs/policy/state-fact-sheet-2009.pdf

One size does not fit all.

Jessica Beck

English 1022.55

Project #2

There is no right or wrong answer about whether a mother should stay at home with her child or go to work. The reason being is that every woman is different. There is not a one size fits all role that any woman will be comfortable in. There are many benefits and drawbacks for both the mother and the child when it comes to determining which journey to take. The fact of the matter is that every mother needs to decide what is best for her and her child. Every mother needs to consider a number of different aspects in order to make such an important choice.

Home with the kids or not?

Kathy Rossi

Online Blog Assignment

Brian Lewis 1022 English Comp II


Home with the kids?


Motherhood is a book in itself. Only a mother could tell you the trials and errors of raising children. How many sleepless nights do we as mothers go through? Maybe an ear infection, cold or flu virus could have been the reason for rocking your child sleep. I feel every mother has an internal "knowing" of when her child is in need. As mothers, I'm sure we have all asked ourselves if we are doing the right thing. Do we stay home and provide all the love and care we can, or do we leave our children's care to someone else for the day, as we find it necessary to help provide for the family financially?

An early study done by the University of Michigan was based on children's time diaries. The study found that when a mother went out to work she only spent 48 minutes less with her children than a mother that was a stay at home mom. This is documented in The Wilson Quarterly.

You may argue that even stay at home moms don't have a full day with their school age children, so why would it make a difference if you brought them to a daycare for the day?
Children need a good foundation and that starts with the love they receive from their mothers and fathers. They watch everything we do and trust us to provide all they need. In the same way we adults want to trust our Government in hopes that they have our best interest at heart.

There is an article written in the Commentary. It refers to pitting conservatives against liberals the same way as we view stay at home moms verses working moms or feminists against traditional families. This article also talks about the negative effect on the emotional, psychological, and even physical development of children in commercial daycares. Stating that money is being spent by day care lobbying to silence researchers who call attention to childhood agression and too much non-parental supervison and care.

Why is this happening when we have more moms and dads asking for more options at their work place, to spend more time at home with their children? Anytime a company gives it's employees options such as a flexible schedules, so as to spend more quality time with their children, I believe we are coming to a good and healthy solution to all of the above tug and war of a stay at home mom and the working mom or dad.

Remember, our children are the leaders and presidents of our country in the future. How would we want them to act on our behalf as we grow old, needing care from others?


Works Cited

Souce Citation: "How Mothers Find Time. "The Wilson Quarterly. 25.3 (Summer 2001): p86. Literature Resource Center. Gale. Century College Library. 30 Jan. 2010 http://go.galegroup.com.cenproxy.mnpals.net/start.do?p=LitRC&u+mnacenturycl

Source Citation: "Caution: day care may be harmful to your child." Commentary. 116.3 (Oct. 2003): p9. Literature Resource Center. Gale. Century College Library. 30 Jan. 2010 .
http://go.galegroup.comcenproxy.mnpals.net/ps/start.do?p=LitRC&u=mnacenturycl

Kari and Jessica, we have been given some advice from Brian Lewis. He suggests we refine our blog to something like "Is it better for mothers to stay home and raise a family or for them to work outside the home?" Brian suggest we narrow it to one group, perhaps.

My thoughts are a bit torn on this issue. When my children were growing up I stayed home with them. This was back in the 70's and 80's. My husband at that time didn't allow the option for me to go out and get a job. I was creative and decided to start a small daycare in our home. That way our children would have playmates and I could bring in some extra money for the family. My husband was ok with that and our family did benefit in many ways. My oldest son, who is now 38, to this day says it has helped him to be more of a people person and can start a conversation with just about anyone. Reason being that he formed friendships early in his life and learned how to work with others to get what he wanted. My youngest child is now age 30 and has her masers in Math, teaching 7th grade Math in Forest Lake. She also benefited from the daycare but a twist to this is, I was the daycare provider and also the mom working out of the home with my children. I regret some days having the daycare. My middle son who is now 32, could have used more one on one time with me. So, this is why I'm a bit torn on this subject. I plan on adding to this blog with data and cited MLA references soon. Kathy Rossi