Roles

Jessica Beck

Eng 1022.55

Project #2 continued...

Every woman has certain roles that she is expected to fill. Some women choose to accept their roles, some women choose to rebel against them, and yet some choose to change their roles. Women need to be happy in their roles and must do what it takes in order to find such happiness. Feminism has been a huge force in helping women change their roles. Because of the feminist movement, women can now go to elite colleges and pursue their careers. Isn't it great? Well, that depends, once again, on the woman. For a long time women's colleges educated their student's on how to be "proper" women (good cooks, good cleaners, good wives, good mothers…). In essence being educated during this time was an aid to marrying well and thus had nothing to do with pursuing a career. Has this changed? Not as much as one would think. "In 2000, Harvard Business School professor Myra Hart surveyed the women of the classes of 1981, 1986, and 1991 and found that only 38 percent of female Harvard MBAs were working full time" (America's Stay-at-Home Feminists). The reasons that so many of the women weren't working is because they either got married, or had a child, or both. This isn't a problem for me. I think its great that such women were dedicated to educating themselves. I can also easily relate to the idea of not wanting to leave the children. Either way as long as woman truly wants and chooses her role- there shouldn't be controversy surrounding it. Of course there often is the issue of the "second-shift", this refers to all of the household work that even working women are (often) expected to do. For some women, the pressures of the "second-shift" and working are too much; in many cases these women opt to leave the workforce. This is a problem. In fact, " According to Phyllis Moen and Patricia Roehling's Career Mystique, 'When couples marry, the amount of time that a woman spends doing housework increases by approximately 17 percent, while a man's decreases by 33 percent'" (America's Stay-at-home Feminists). It's hard, the workforce has changed so much to accommodate women, but household roles haven't changed alongside. Often times, women are torn by between working and staying at home as a result. The article America's Stay-at-home Feminists by Linda Hirshman lays out some pretty controversial solutions to such problems stating, " You can either find a spouse with less social power than you or find one with an ideological commitment to gender equality. Taking the easier path first, marry down". As I first read this article I thought the end was a joke- I was wrong. The article analyses various trend in women leaving the workforce. Ultimately Hirshman chooses to take a stand against stay-at-home mothers/wives. She believes that it is a waste for women to go to school and then leave the workforce; she goes as far as to say it is a downward spiral for society. Part of her reasoning is that women cannot achieve their full potential by staying at home. I contend that Hirshman needs to look at what life is all about. I know when I'm on my death bed I am not going to regret business deals that I didn't close, I am going to regret not having more time with my family. Also, intellectually it is not a waste of time for women to leave the workforce; there are plenty of ways to satisfy a women's thirst for intellectual challenges without working. For example, I am a stay at home mother and I also am a full-time student. Either way the main flaw with Hirshman's arguments is that she fails to realize that women should have the choice, just because staying at home isn't for her doesn't mean it's not for other women. The ultimate reality, the reality that I feminists have been fighting for, is that women should be given the opportunity to be happy in their various roles- whatever roles those may be.

Works Cited:

Hirshman, Linda. " America's Stay-at-Home Feminists." Alternet, 24 November 2005. Web. 7 Feb 2010.

http://www.alternet.org/story/28621/?page=1

View From the Childless Side

Written By: Kari Duddeck

There is a big different between the two other members of my group and myself. They are both mothers and I am not. My thoughts on mothers staying home with their children or going back to work are going to be slightly different than theirs. I don't have the slightest idea what I would decide to do if I were placed in the situation of having to make the decision to stay home with my child or go back to my career. I like to think that I would be okay with placing my child in daycare and returning to my career. I feel that after I have spent a lot of my hard earned money on an education I should put that education to use and pursue my career. I think that there are a lot of mothers out there who have their first child and then they make the decision to place that child in daycare and they continue with their career. For some mothers a second child changes everything. If a mother decides to have a second child all of a sudden daycare fees have doubled along with expenses for everything from diapers to food. A lot of families need to rethink their decision and the role that daycare has in their life. Some families may decide that the mother should stay home with the children in order to save on the daycare costs. Another family may also decide that with another mouth to feed the extra income the mother will bring in is worth the added daycare costs. This just reiterates the idea that there is no universal right or wrong answer. Each individual family is different and has to think about the pros and cons of the mother working or not and make the decision for themselves. It is hard to think about what I would do if I were in this situation. I am not sure what my family situation will be. Will I have 1 child or will I have 6 children? There are so many different factors to take into consideration. I don't think it is possible to make a decision until the time comes.

Daycares to sitters and guilt of leaving your child. Do I or don't I?

Kathy Rossi

Project#2 Online assignment

Brian Lewis 1022 English Comp II

Our children are the loves of our lives. Why wouldn't we be concerned about them? Leaving them the first day back to work is a hard task. Whether it is at a licensed daycare, sitter, or relative. Moms want to be there to help them grow in a wonderful way. Whether it be to help them with their shoes or be the one that reads them their first book of nursery stories such as Peter Piper or the Old woman in the Shoe. Moms can have a bit of a guilt complex from dropping them off and hearing them cry as you walk out the door of the daycare. Or maybe you come back early from work and hear your child call the care provider "mom." I think an important factor is if you need to have your child in a daycare, find one that you feel a close connection with the provider. The fact that I owned and operated a daycare for 8 children and then eventually moved up to 55 children give me confidence in sharing my opinion. I once had a mom come every day for two weeks and sit in with the group of children and I. She was able to gain confidence in me and the way I handled the situations with the children. Her children would join in our activities and she could sit back and see the love that was given to each child. By the third week this mother left her children with me and had no crying or hard good byes as she walked out the door to work. Of course not all parents can afford to do such as she did for two weeks, but it really did make a difference in her trusting me and she feeling good about the care her children would be getting. There was an article on CNN that spoke of daycare situations and the advice that was given was to find a place you feel comfortable leaving your children. Yes, there may be a day that doesn't fit well with what you see at the daycare but, if all the other days you drop your children off and they are happy and excited to be there then you have found a great program and kind of an extended family.

ross0031 Kathy

www.cnn.com/2007/.../family/07/23/par...child.care/index.html

Quizzes

Jessica Beck

English 1022.55

Project #2

Here are links to a couple of quizzes on whether "you" should be a stay at home mom or go back to work. These are just entertainment quizzes of course. I did them with curiosity as to what questions would be asked. Obviously these quizzes shouldn't be the determining factor as far as such a big decision goes. However, I would like to note how lacking, in my opinion, the question were. In fact, the only thing that the quizzes took into account was the mother's wellbeing and nothing of the child's. It's a little disheartening for me to think that some people make this choice (when it is a choice) without considering what's best for the child.

http://www.parents.com/parents/quiz.jsp?quizId=/templatedata/ab/quiz/data/StayHomeOrBackToWork_03172004.xml

http://just-for-mom.quiz.kaboose.com/58-should-you-stay-at-home-or-go-back-to-work

I want to note that these sources are in non way credible or reliable.

Childcare expensive in Britain.

Kathy Rossi

Project #2 Online Blog Assignment

Brian Lewis 1022 English Comp II

What the UK thinks about childcare.


In the UK a survey stated that most daycare costs have risen, but they find it much higher in the area of London and the South-east. The parents need more help financially to give their children a good start in life and to help them work towards a better education. The parents in Britain are not able to afford the costs, so only about 13% use daycare service all the time. The article on CNN stated that British parents experience the highest childcare costs in Europe.

posted by ross0031 Kathy

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/uk-childcare-bills-europes-highes...

I think the answer to the question is up to the family and what they are willing to give up for the price of being home with the children. A report on CNN states that over time a family gives us about 1 million dollars to stay home with the young family. They consider all the company benefits and retirement funds etc. I as a mother feel my children are priceless. There are many ways to make money from home. We just need to be creative.

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/CollegeAndFamily/RaiseKids/CostOfBeingAStay...

To Stay Home or Not to Stay Home? That is the Question?

Written By: Kari Duddeck

Deciding to become a stay at home mom or joining the workforce is a difficult decision to make. It requires a lot of thought and it will alter the lives of the entire family. There is a lot to take into consideration when deciding to become a stay at home mom. The finances are the biggest thing that needs to be thought about. Can the family live without your salary? Is it worth working just to turn around and spend your money on daycare costs? Another important thing to consider is how you feel about another person caring for your child. Are you comfortable with another person taking part in raising your child? It is also important to think about the emotional impact on the potential stay at home mother. Going from the work force to staying at home can toy with emotions. If leaving the work force is going to have a detrimental impact on your emotions it may be better to continue working. Finally it is also important to consider the impact your decision will have on the child. Staying home with your child definitely has its benefits. Children that stay home with their parent often have a better relationship with that parent and children are able to learn more because they have the one on one attention. Going to daycare can also have its benefits. Children are introduced in the social aspects that they need to know and be comfortable with especially once they reach school age and they are introduced to new experiences that they may not be introduced to at home. At the end of the day the choice to become a stay at home mom or a working mom is ultimately up to each individual family. There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to making this choice.